Impact as a valuable concept for leadership for life has been on my mind for a while now. I have attempted to write a post about it on various occasions, only to reach a block or a wall in the form of not knowing how to procede or in the form of self-doubt about my own ability to articulate the points that I want to make about this topic. These blocks and self-doubts tell me that I value this topic a great deal, for I want to explain myself in such a way that I am able to convey the importance of this concept. Recognizing the inadequacy of my words, I allow myself to write anyway, acknowledging that I do not pretend to have even begun to master this principle nor do I assume that I will adequately address it in this post.
I am coming to a greater awareness that what I do and say or don't do and don't say all have an impact that is greater than I am capable of knowing. Being in a position of leadership has heightened my awareness of my impact on other people. I find myself reflecting more about the effects my words and actions might have on others, and I am learning more to value listening and hearing the perspectives of others before I react or respond. In a position of leadership, what I do has the potential of sending a message that carries not only my voice, but also the voice of the position I am in and all of the influence that position entails. I need to realize that, whether I like it or not, when I speak someone is listening.
For much of my life there are certain people whose words and actions have had a greater impact on me than others. In hindsight I realize that these individuals have frequently been men and women in positions of leadership and authority. I have had higher expectations of these people, which has influenced the impact I allow them to have on me. Through the ways I have interpreted their words and actions I have been lifted up, encouraged and supported as well as disappointed, attacked and betrayed. Even subtleties in their tone and posture have sent messages, whether they intended them or not, that have had a huge impact on me.
The point I want to make here is about awareness. The more aware I am of the outcome I want to achieve as well as the impact and potential impact of my actions, the more likely I will be to make decisions that take that impact into consideration. If I make decisions with a greater level of consciousness regarding how my actions and words may be interpreted, then I may be more likely to achieve the impact I desire rather than having to deal with the consequences of any number of unintended outcomes. The more consciously aware I am of the decisions I make and the direction I am headed, the more likely I am to reach my intended destination. We underestimate our impact as leaders at the peril of our organizations and those who trust us to lead them.
That is not to say that as leaders we need to be perfect lest we inadvertently influence someone in an unintended way. On the contrary, I think it is important that we acknowledge our imperfections and rejoice in our humanity, so as to send the message to those we lead that perfection is not a necessary or even desirable quality for a leader. In fact, if I do not allow myself to be seen as a fallible human being, I run the risk of alienating others and perpetuating the erroneous idea that to lead is to be somehow more than human. There is value in discovering that a person one has idolized, however great the things that have been learned from that person, is also a human being. Rumi, in his wisdom, has said that "the true teacher knocks down the idol that the student makes of him." The impact of recognizing the common humanity in those we perceive as great teachers and leaders is potentially much more beneficial than continuing to revere them from afar on an unreachable pedestal upon which we have placed them.
Finally, with the recognition that we are all human beings, regardless of our formal titles and leadership roles, we all have a greater impact on the world and people around us than we can ever fully know. Margaret Wheatley, in her book Leadership and the New Science, explains that "None of us exists independent of our relationships with others. Different settings and people evoke some qualities from us and leave others dormant. In each of these relationships, we are different, new in some way." Let us not underestimate the impact we, ordinary human beings, have on others, for small things can make a big difference.
"We never know how our small activities will affect others through the invisible fabric of our connectedness." Margaret J. Wheatley
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Vulnerability as a Strength
In popular thought vulnerability equates to weakness, being soft, in a position in which one will surely be taken advantage of. Throughout my life, I have learned to avoid vulnerability at all costs, building up walls to protect myself from an imminent attack. Somewhere along the way I learned the valuable lesson that some people will take advantage of me, that I cannot trust everyone. But there are times when I have overcompensated and decided that I cannot trust anyone. There's a big difference there. And that lack of trust has kept me "safe" but it's also kept me from engaging and learning more about what it means to live in trusting relationships with others.
I now realize that vulnerability follows trust and greater trust comes through vulnerability. Being in a position of leadership heightens my need for trust and accentuates the risk of vulnerability, for I am acutely aware that I am NOT superman, that I cannot do it alone, which means I need to ask for support, which means I will have to admit my weakness, which makes me vulnerable. And therein is the paradox of vulnerability as a strength. In fact, vulnerability, paradoxically, may be the greatest strength a human being can possess, for as much strength as is takes to build walls of defense and ceaselessly defend the ground within those walls, it is amazing to discover that it takes even greater strength to open the gates, to bring the walls down, to allow myself to truly be seen in all my humanity, all my limitations, all my weaknesses. Perhaps that is what is meant in the passage that has long perplexed me in its seeming contradiction, "...for when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).
Some may argue that being vulnerable, accepting and exposing weaknesses, will become merely an excuse for mediocrity, a scapegoat that sounds like, "that's just the way I am" or "wo is me! who will feel bad for me?" While I acknowledge the possibility of such a concession to the victim within, at the same time I celebrate the strength of admitting my weaknesses and acknowledging that I am simply one man among many, and when we come together in trust with a healthy picture of our personal limitations and weaknesses, we can be much greater than we ever could have been alone and constantly fighting to be seen as "strong."
As leaders and as members of a team, vulnerability is the first step toward building a greater sense of trust, which will greatly enhance the productivity and succes of the team. Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, declares, "Great teams do not hold back with one another. They are unafraid to air their dirty laundry. They admit their mistakes, their weakness, and their concerns without fear of reprisal" (44). Imagine the power of a team who trust each other enough to admit their mistakes and acknowledge their weaknesses without being shamed or taken advantage of. This is a team I want to be part of.
In the spirit of vulnerability as a strength I, with Rumi, invite you to "cry out in your weakness... [and] give your weakness to one who helps." For another strength in being vulnerable is the chance to allow another to exercise strength in helping that that person would have been deprived of otherwise. Yes, my weakness strengthens, my vulnerability builds trust, my allowing others to bless me blesses them.
I now realize that vulnerability follows trust and greater trust comes through vulnerability. Being in a position of leadership heightens my need for trust and accentuates the risk of vulnerability, for I am acutely aware that I am NOT superman, that I cannot do it alone, which means I need to ask for support, which means I will have to admit my weakness, which makes me vulnerable. And therein is the paradox of vulnerability as a strength. In fact, vulnerability, paradoxically, may be the greatest strength a human being can possess, for as much strength as is takes to build walls of defense and ceaselessly defend the ground within those walls, it is amazing to discover that it takes even greater strength to open the gates, to bring the walls down, to allow myself to truly be seen in all my humanity, all my limitations, all my weaknesses. Perhaps that is what is meant in the passage that has long perplexed me in its seeming contradiction, "...for when I am weak, then am I strong" (2 Corinthians 12:10).
Some may argue that being vulnerable, accepting and exposing weaknesses, will become merely an excuse for mediocrity, a scapegoat that sounds like, "that's just the way I am" or "wo is me! who will feel bad for me?" While I acknowledge the possibility of such a concession to the victim within, at the same time I celebrate the strength of admitting my weaknesses and acknowledging that I am simply one man among many, and when we come together in trust with a healthy picture of our personal limitations and weaknesses, we can be much greater than we ever could have been alone and constantly fighting to be seen as "strong."
As leaders and as members of a team, vulnerability is the first step toward building a greater sense of trust, which will greatly enhance the productivity and succes of the team. Patrick Lencioni, author of The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, declares, "Great teams do not hold back with one another. They are unafraid to air their dirty laundry. They admit their mistakes, their weakness, and their concerns without fear of reprisal" (44). Imagine the power of a team who trust each other enough to admit their mistakes and acknowledge their weaknesses without being shamed or taken advantage of. This is a team I want to be part of.
In the spirit of vulnerability as a strength I, with Rumi, invite you to "cry out in your weakness... [and] give your weakness to one who helps." For another strength in being vulnerable is the chance to allow another to exercise strength in helping that that person would have been deprived of otherwise. Yes, my weakness strengthens, my vulnerability builds trust, my allowing others to bless me blesses them.
A dragon was pulling a bear into its terrible mouth.
A courageous man went and rescued the bear.
There are such helpers in the world, who rush to save
anyone who cries out. Like Mercy itself,
they run toward the screaming.
And they can’t be bought off.
If you were to ask one of those, "Why did you come
so quickly?" he or she would say, "Because I heard
your helplessness."
Where lowland is,
that’s where water goes. All medicine wants
is pain to cure.
And don’t just ask for one mercy.
Let them flood in. Let the sky open under your feet.
Take the cotton out of your ears, the cotton
of consolations, so you can hear the sphere-music.
Push the hair out of your eyes.
Blow the phlegm from your nose,
and from your brain.
Let the wind breeze through.
Leave no residue in yourself from that bilious fever.
Take the cure for impotence,
that your manhood may shoot forth,
and a hundred new beings come of your coming.
Tear the binding from around the foot
of your soul, and let it race around the track
in front of the crowd. Loosen the knot of greed
so tight on your neck. Accept your new good luck.
Give your weakness
to one who helps.
Crying out loud and weeping are great resources.
A nursing mother, all she does
is wait to hear her child.
Just a little beginning-whimper,
and she’s there.
God created the child, that is your wanting,
so that it might cry out, so that milk might come.
Cry out! Don’t be stolid and silent
with your pain. Lament! And let the milk
of loving flow into you.
The hard rain and wind
are ways the cloud has
to take care of us.
Be patient.
Respond to every call
that excites your spirit.
Ignore those that make you fearful
and sad, that degrade you
back toward disease and death.
A courageous man went and rescued the bear.
There are such helpers in the world, who rush to save
anyone who cries out. Like Mercy itself,
they run toward the screaming.
And they can’t be bought off.
If you were to ask one of those, "Why did you come
so quickly?" he or she would say, "Because I heard
your helplessness."
Where lowland is,
that’s where water goes. All medicine wants
is pain to cure.
And don’t just ask for one mercy.
Let them flood in. Let the sky open under your feet.
Take the cotton out of your ears, the cotton
of consolations, so you can hear the sphere-music.
Push the hair out of your eyes.
Blow the phlegm from your nose,
and from your brain.
Let the wind breeze through.
Leave no residue in yourself from that bilious fever.
Take the cure for impotence,
that your manhood may shoot forth,
and a hundred new beings come of your coming.
Tear the binding from around the foot
of your soul, and let it race around the track
in front of the crowd. Loosen the knot of greed
so tight on your neck. Accept your new good luck.
Give your weakness
to one who helps.
Crying out loud and weeping are great resources.
A nursing mother, all she does
is wait to hear her child.
Just a little beginning-whimper,
and she’s there.
God created the child, that is your wanting,
so that it might cry out, so that milk might come.
Cry out! Don’t be stolid and silent
with your pain. Lament! And let the milk
of loving flow into you.
The hard rain and wind
are ways the cloud has
to take care of us.
Be patient.
Respond to every call
that excites your spirit.
Ignore those that make you fearful
and sad, that degrade you
back toward disease and death.
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